Stories that Changed My Life: When Friends Show Up

His name was Cliff, a deacon in a church I pastored who had gotten caught and wrongfully accused of being homosexual in a large sweep effort put on by a district attorney in Oklahoma City who was trying to become Governor.

Cliff was a traveling salesman of auto parts who happened to stay in a hotel in Oklahoma City when calling on dealerships and auto parts stores there. He stayed in that hotel because it had a parking garage attached and it was possible to park on the same floor as your room. Cliff had a bad back and no one had dreamed up roller luggage in the late 1960’s. A few months earlier he had found a new motel that allowed him to park in front of his room and had begun staying there instead.

He heard that the hotel was closing and decided to go by to say goodbye to the staff there. Cliff was the kind of outgoing salesman that never met a stranger and would talk to a fence post.

During his visit he went to the public restroom and met another man who struck up a conversation which was not hard to do if Cliff was involved. The man asked if Cliff was staying in the hotel and of course Cliff told him the whole story including where he was staying on his current trip to the City. They made small talk or perhaps some locker room joking around in what seemed to be a very normal, uneventful event. Later that night the police knocked on Cliff’s door and arrested him for being a homosexual. Evidently the sting operation focused on that hotel as a hangout for gay men who somehow were viewed as dangerous criminals.

Cliff spent a horrible and very scary night in jail and then months of dread waiting for a trial that he feared would ruin his life. If word got out that he was even arrested, he would lose his job. If tried he would never get the stain off his reputation. He and his wife spent the months waiting for the trial in silent agony afraid to tell anyone.

As the trial approached with fear and trembling Cliff and his wife told me the story. We talked several times as the day approached with me trying to give him hope.

I attended the trial and sat in horror. There was so little evidence I was appalled that the case was not thrown out. The prosecuting attorneys made a big deal out of a playboy magazine in Cliff’s briefcase. That alone should have proven innocence. That is symbolic of the sham I was watching but Cliff’s lawyer was totally inept. All he was good at was making the judge angry. It became very clear to me that the jury would think that they should find Cliff guilty and ask the judge to send him to treatment with the idea that if he was gay, he would be treated if not he was not in jail so no hurt. They did not know the judge rarely gave suspended sentences and that being found guilty would ruin Cliff’s life. The trial was stopped for the night with the jury to receive the case the next morning.

I drove back to Tulsa in tears wondering what I could do to help. I went to my office, called five of Cliff’s closest friends and asked them to come to my office. It was nine thirty at night so no telling what they were thinking as they arrived. I told them the story and about my fears and ask them to go with me the next morning to stand with Cliff in his time of need and pain. Every one of them immediately said they would be there.

I will never forget the next morning. Partly because that was the day the news of Robert Kennedy’s death was announced. Mostly because of the pride I felt for those very busy men taking off with no advanced warning to be with a friend.

We arrived as folks were gathering outside of the courtroom and I hung back to watch a scene I can’t write or talk about even this many years later without tears. I saw Cliff’s face as he was embraced by five friends. They did not say much, words were not needed just being present was enough.

That was one time, and I wish I could say one of many times, when I saw men being Jesus to a friend.

The story did not stop there. Cliff was found guilty, and we went to work. Cliff was given a battery of test by a psychologist who testified in court that Cliff showed no signs of homosexuality. We found a better lawyer and all of us appeared at his sentencing to testify on his behalf and he got a suspended sentence.  I wrote a letter to his company and another for him to show his customers most of whom said they did not need any letter.

Cliff’s life was saved.

I saw Christian love work and redeem.

I became convinced no one should be defined by how they do consensual sex.

And humans loving humans became the most beautiful sight on earth. I have seen great beauty in my life but seeing Cliff’s face that morning is the only scene that still moves me to tears fifty-five years later.